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Nudity, Women and Bare Buns

A woman named Pat, who is a nurse from Chantilly, Virginia, wrote the following paragraphs on a nudists' discussion group. She was responding to a man's question on how other men got their wives or girlfriends to find enough courage to try nudism.

"Well, I can tell you that my immediate response was, 'No way'. But we talked about it again, and Jim gave me some web sites to look into. One being Bare Buns'.

"After reading that, we signed up for a Bare Buns Sports Club party. I thought that I would get very nervous, etc. But going there, with the type of introduction Bare Buns does, was very comfortable, and Jim was just floored at how easily I adapted. I think the Sports Club Party was a great introduction.

"I was very surprised to find out how friendly everyone was, and how quickly you forget that you are nude. You are aware of others being nude, but I was not self-conscious. Also, Jim had a very open mind about it and stated that if I was . . . (uncomfortable), we would leave.

"I think this is one of those things that another person can't really describe how nice it feels. Being able to read about the first times of many other women took a lot of the anxiety away for me."

© Charles Myers. Used with permission.

And here's another reply, from a man named Paul who lives with his wife and two daughters in Columbia, Maryland. Paul is responding to the same original question that Pat was answering. He tells about the outcome of his family's trip with Bare Buns, to a nudist park for a weekend:

"Our family just started these activities this past year. Why did my wife continue after the first time (and the second, and the third . . .)?

"The people we've met in our experience, taken as a population are more civil, more respectful, more accepting, more welcoming, more straightforward, more helpful, more restrained (yes) than the population as a whole. In our last outing where we were at a pool with a strictly enforced no-clothing policy, my wife ended up meeting and lounging much of a day with another teacher.

"When we got home, my wife gave me a big hug and said she'd had a wonderful weekend.

"So, what began with great hesitation eight months ago, has now become something we do enthusiastically."

In response to Paul's message, Pat wrote:

"I agree with the comments that Paul made...the people are more civil, nicer, more open and accepting...and the great part is they see you for who you really are without any of the outside window dressing. One of the other things you may not be aware of, at least for the Bare Buns activities, the ratio of men to women is very well balanced, so that the female does not feel overwhelmed being around all men. Bare Buns does a great job in the orientation, and on the phone before hand, answering questions, giving information, calming concerns and fears.

"One of the things I like the most about nudist activities is that they are just good, clean fun...not getting hit on, no hidden agendas, just a group of people getting together to have a good time.

"We are definitely looking to enjoy many more activities. Some with Bare Buns, perhaps some on our own, and we definitely want to try a sailing trip."

"The girl with dark hair was coming towards him across the field. With what seemed a single movement she tore off her clothes and flung them disdainfully aside. Her body was white and smooth, but it aroused no desire in him, indeed he barely looked at it. What overwhelmed him in that instant was admiration for the gesture with which she had thrown her clothes aside. With all its grace and carelessness it seemed to annihilate a whole culture, a whole system of thought."

— 1984, George Orwell

"We should all learn to be this comfortable with our bodies."

— Dr. Dean Edell, www.healthcentral.com

"I was doing a children's book on self-esteem, and I really felt like I wanted to shed the shame I'd been feeling and maybe make it easier for women my age who had probably felt bad about themselves. I thought that the best way to do it was this photograph. I would have done it naked if they'd let me! My deal was that they would use a full-length picture of me in my underwear and a full-length picture of me all done up, and they would write about how long it took and how much it cost, because that was the whole point. It was very liberating....I think happiness comes from self-acceptance. We all try different things, and we find some comfortable sense of who we are."

— Jamie Lee Curtis, on a photo shoot in More magazine done without makeup

"It went great!! Except my buns are burning. It was so much fun and sooo relaxing. When's the canoe trip?"

— Andrea Daniels, a single mom from Leesburg, Virginia when asked about her first-ever Nudist adventure, a sailing trip with Bare Buns

"My wife and I were first introduced to nudism by your information booth at the Fairfax Fair. Since then we have been to (a long list of activities) and have had a lot of fun. We would like to become members of Bare Buns. Thank you for showing us the joys of being nudists."

— Jim and Jill Jensen, Herndon, VA

"I wanted to let you know that Joanna and I had a fabulous time last evening at the Sports Party. Thanks again for letting me bring her along and accompany me (for my first experience with Bare Buns) and for the long ride. She had a great time too. I look forward to (your next activity and bringing another friend). You have an awesome group!"

— Tammi Shelby, Prince Frederick, MD

"Being involved with BARE BUNS is the only time I have felt comfortable with my body....It's the first time that I could accept myself as I am, and I sensed that people were not looking at me in a judging way; it was a feeling of total comfort and acceptance and beauty."

— Rita Jerusalem, Herndon, VA

We've heard this, or something similar to it, many times. Almost always by women, but — surprise! — by an enormously diverse group of women. Some are very attractive, and are annoyed by being incessantly watched at work, at the mall and on the street; others are rather ordinary, and some are very out-of-shape and they feel like people are looking at them in a judgemental way. For the sake of their own physical health, perhaps they should lose a few pounds.

The reason for so many women saying the same thing, is that when they visit Bare Buns, they quickly begin to realize that nobody is looking, or admiring, or evaluating, or comparing. Some have said that nobody seemed to notice that they were naked. Indeed, many have told us that they soon FORGOT that they were not clothed!

At our club, you will see people with sags, stretch marks, scars from surgery or accidents, birthmarks, cellulite, and missing body parts. You'll quickly notice that nobody pays attention to that sort of thing, and you can be certain that we won't notice any imperfections, real or imagined, that you may have. You're going to learn that people accept you based upon the kind of person you are.

Many people have found an improved concept of themselves when they learn that we, who have seen literally thousands of other people without clothes, have learned to value people not on how attractively they can dress themselves, but what is in their heads and their hearts. Sure, we all want to look nice when we have to be dressed, but it's very important to feel good about the person who's under those clothes.

We know dozens of women who have said that they'd go to a nudist club if they could lose (ten, or thirty, or fifty, fill in the blank) pounds. Over the years, we've also met hundreds of women who have bravely visited, not worrying about achieving near-perfection first.

Most of those people say that the experience has enhanced their image of themselves. They get to see for themselves that others value them without concern for the standards of beauty set by outside society. They come to realize that physical attractiveness really is not an important criterion for choosing friends.

The one regret we hear, over and over again, is that once they've visited Bare Buns, women wish they hadn't wasted all those years before finding the courage to try us!

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